Table for ONE.

I never have any answers.

Questions, yes. Answers, no.

Being an introvert allows me the opportunity to be alone and truly enjoy it. In fact, I enjoy it so much that sometimes I crave it. Being around people is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. I need alone time in order to refuel and recharge and feel sane.

Lately however, I have been challenged with the idea that my affinity to be alone is more sinful than holy. It seems that every class, sermon, or conversation I'm involved with is brought back to the conclusion that "we are relational beings, made for community" and that "the trinity in and of itself has perfect companionship, meaning that we are too are meant for relationships."

Cool.......now come the questions that have no answers.
What if I experience God most intimately in my times of Solitude? What then is the point of pursuing people?
Can the discipline of solitude be abused? In other words, is there such a thing as too much alone time?
Why would God create in me the desire to live a life of just He and I if companionship was such a big deal?
Can one decide to live single for the Lord, or do they have to be called to it?
How do you know if you have the gift of singleness?
How does one live a life solo AND satisfied?
Are these two mutually exclusive?

Perhaps the worst question to face:
"What is my motivation for desiring solitude?"
                    Is it for Holiness or am I'm running scared?

My biggest question however, is this- Why doesn't the church ever talk about being single? Is it that scary to think about living without a partner that people don't even want to talk about it as a possibility?

Answers. Thats all I want. To know the direction in which my life is headed would be nice. That way I could adequately prepare. 

For now I say, if its good enough for Paul, it's good enough for me.

1 Cor 7:7
I wish that all of you were as i am. But each of you have your own gift from God; one has this gift, another as that.